(Click here to watch David present this listicle on his YouTube channel.)

1. Life goes on… until it doesn’t..

2. At the end of the day… you go to sleep.

3. Love is blind… and hate is lucid.

4. If you don’t have anything nice to say… then shut the front door.

5. Don’t go to bed angry… and satisfied.

6. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks… so dog eat dog world.

7. Stuck between a rock and a hard place… means I need a min.

8. Time flies when you’re having fun… and double the fun when you’re unyoung.

9. He’s a bad egg… Crack him.

10. See the forest for the trees… but you’re not out of the woods yet.

11. Do something that scares you everyday… may increase your risk of death,” new study shows.

12. Time is money… Money is power. Power is energy. Energy is everything.

13. Another day, another dollar… so either build someone else’s dream, or your own.

14. Misery loves company… and OMG it sells like hotcakes.

15. Laughter is the best medicine… but please fund and swallow this pill. 😆

16. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend… and a bloody business.

17. We are known by the company we keep… including those incorporating our minds.

18. A friend in need is a friend indeed… so please, do not self-terminate. Holler to a friend instead. 🙏

19. Curiosity killed the cat… just two out of nine lives on average.

20. Beauty is only skin deep… Wait, even if its robotical underneath?

21. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… Behold!! My eye is the beauty!

22. An apple a day keeps the doctor away… Science.

23. That’s the way the cookie crumbles… because everybody needs some humbles.

24. A chip off the old block… wasn’t born yesterday.

25. All’s well that ends well… Swell, let’s dwell without hell.

26. As luck would have it… Misfortune is my middle name.

27. Barking up the wrong tree… got me stuck instead of free.

28. Beggars can’t be choosers… so choose to be grateful.

29. Best thing since sliced bread… ’til cold brew slappened.

30. Burning the candle at both ends… smokes Dave sick.

31. Cleanliness is next to godliness… because pure ideology is beloved.

32. Cross that bridge when we come to it… and see who second guesses best.

33. Get over yourself… but don’t get under me.

34. Darkest before the dawn… means that blackouts breakout.

35. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch… is a cliché program encoded with self-doubt malware.

36. Don’t step on anyone’s toes… especially not the soul.

37. All’s fair in love and war… until you love war, or leave it loveless.

38. Eat your heart out… before I do,” says the self-centered cannibal.

39. Early bird catches the worm… and meets sleep least beat.

40. Easier said than done… so just do that said thing.

41. Eye for an eye… Is that why Eye die?

42. You can run, but you can’t hide… so move in plain sight.

43. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going… so get knowing about this innergrowing.

44. When push comes to shove… some capsize.

45. When it rains, it pours… like cats and dogs.

46. To the best of my knowledge… means I don’t want to look stupid if I’m wrong.

47. This hurts me worse than it hurts you… but no pain, no gain.

48. Third times’ a charm… but fourth’s a war.

49. The more the merrier… assuming I like you.

50. Take one for the team… equates to We over you.

51. The stuff that dreams are made of… is limited by your belief systems.

52. Stop and smell the roses… except run through fart clusters.

53. Stubborn as a mule… ya’ old goat.

54. The road to hell is paved with good intentions… and rainbows.

55. Don’t put the cart before the horse… or is that a reindeer?” says President Klaus.

56. Opportunity doesn’t knock twice… Good thing destiny doesn’t knock choice.

57. It’s not the end of the world… It’s the beginning of the unitedverse.

58. No use crying over spilled milk… because crying is stupid.

59. There’s more than one way to skin a cat… sounds wicked twisted.

60. Looks like death warmed over… Hmm, maybe another 30 seconds on High.

61. Live and let live… or decay and die dead.

62. Keep your fingers crossed… and butt cheeks clinched.

63. Keep It Simple, Stupid… was kissed by cupid.

64. It ain’t over til the fat lady sings… but only if you showed for the show.

65. Good things come to those who wait… Dang, I’m impatient.

66. The facts of life… are you don’t always get what you want.

67. Actions speak louder than words… because the effect must be caused.

68. There’s no such thing as a stupid question… unless the asker cannot know truth.

69. What goes around, comes around… because time may be toroidal.

70. Gave it the old college try… by memorizing books for the low price of a modest mortgage with higher rates.

71. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… but each one’s unique.

72. You can’t judge a book by its cover… unless you wrote and bound that book.

73. You can’t please everyone… but the reality is you can be kind.

74. What doesn’t kill you… always progresses you.

75. Ignorance is bliss… except you better let me know if there’s something in my teeth.

76. Better safe than sorry… yet it’s okay to make mistakes.

77. Happily ever after… but it took forever!

78. On average, a male’s brain is larger than a woman’s brain… Weird Science.

79. I think, therefore I am… and right now I’m thinking about a donut.

80. See the light at the end of the tunnel… to be among the lucid.