Some writers aren’t famous for what they write about, but how their writing voices sing on the page.
Their cadence elevates them beyond countless wordsmiths vying for attention. Chuck Palahniuk, Anne Rice, and Kurt Vonnegut are a few strong voices that come to mind.
Are you looking to impact readers with your unique voice? Well, the good news is you don’t have to travel far to find it…
DYSFUNCTIONALLY DATING PERFECTION
I spent a weekend visiting my girlfriend and her family in Maryland. We broke bread, attended a baseball game, and celebrated her college graduation.
Her family and I clicked. They liked me, and I liked them. The problem was that she didn’t like me anymore, so we broke up on the way to the airport.
She claimed some of my parting words were, “I really like your family, but you make me sick.”
I don’t remember spitting that venom. Maybe I’ve chosen to repress the memory. Either way, I wish I never voiced those twisted thoughts because that ex-girlfriend did nothing wrong.
All she did was tell me how to save our relationship. Over and over, she mentioned how I wasn’t acting like the same person she fell for.
You see, I thought she needed me to be the ideal mate, so I transformed into a fictitious character whenever we were together.
**Oh, my girlfriend’s at my side… Time to activate the fake Dave parade!**
So I let her pick the flicks, food, and fights. I aimed to say and do all the right things. I tried to play the role of the perfect guy because I feared I’d lose her if I was anyone else, especially myself.
I still lost her.
WRITING VOICE SEEKING SINGLE PAGE OF PERFECTION
For years, I made this same mistake with my writing.
I’d sit down to write, spin a few sentences onto the page, only to immediately erase them. For anything that didn’t get deleted, I’d still end up disappointed because my words read nothing like other popular writers out there.
I also trunked everything that revealed personal stuff because I didn’t want people to see any part of the broken me.
Instead, I opted to write in the voice I thought readers wanted to hear. I strived to write words that would make them view me as perfect.
If any of that resonated with you, then you’re a lot like me, and that means you’re guilty of seeking writing perfection.
The pursuit of the perfect words compels you to withhold your true writing voice.
It prevents you from letting down your guard and sharing your unique take on this world because the moment your writing displays any of your irregularities, perfection roars that you can’t or shouldn’t share your raw writing inflections.
The pursuit of perfection doesn’t want readers to see the real you because if you shared your flaws, readers may reject you.
Rejection can be terrifying every time you hit publish. However, you must recognize that rejection is not just a potential reality, but an inevitability.
This inevitable rejection is what held back my true writing voice for years. For far too long, I spoke to the page the same way the young and dumb Dave acted around every girl he dated before the age of 24.
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THE RISE OF IMPERFECTION
My ex-girlfriend moved back to San Diego a couple months after our breakup. We shared the same circle of friends, so we started seeing each other at social herdings.
By that point, I’d found some peace of mind in our separation. I became comfortable just being me. I stopped thinking twice about showcasing my abnormalities around her, too.
Less than a year later, that ex-girlfriend became my wife.
She signed a marriage contract with this imperfect person. Fifteen years of wedlock later, she continues to challenge me to be a better husband, father, and man. I trust her more than anyone else in this strange world.
I’ve found there’s a lot of freedom in permitting yourself to be imperfect.
Of course, I can’t guarantee you’ll get back together with an ex or blend the perfect mix of imperfect words when you start acting more like yourself. However, I’m confident you’ll get better at letting your true voice shine on the page.
I also think you’ll find more satisfaction in your writing. If anything, you’ll attract more people genuinely interested in who you are and what you have to say.
I finally found my writing voice when I started accepting and sharing my many faults. I ain’t the bestest or most perfectest writer, but this imperfect writing voice suits me. That may read odd so let me reword it, not to reach perfection, but to be as clear as possible.
You must accept your flawed writing before you can release your true voice.
A REUNION WITH BEING REAL
I don’t know how to craft the perfect story or compile flawless paragraphs. All I know is that when I try too hard to please anyone, my writing often becomes unattractive to everyone.
I’d rather be the writer I am than the writer I think readers need me to be. – Tweet that
I’m thinking we’re on the same page because you’re still reading, so try these exercises to harness your imperfect writing voice the next time you write:
- Speak your thoughts through your keyboard as though you’re talking to just one person.
- Picture just one reader or friend and let the words roll off your fingertips. This approach should prompt you to write more fluidly and share your voice in an intimate way.
- Expose yourself. Uh, keep your clothes on, but integrate something personal into the piece you’re creating.
- Whether that’s a fictive piece or something else, opening up to readers guarantees you’re showcasing your true self. I do my best to share failures or a unique story in every blog post I publish.
- Stories about bone collecting, malfunctioning pants, and birthday breakups with girlfriends helped me better connect with readers (as opposed to positioning myself as a pompous, perfect know-it-all).
- Get selfish and write for yourself.
- Did you ever keep a journal or diary? Weren’t you more open to sharing your take on life and documenting how you really felt when you knew no one was looking?
- Do that again because it may help you get back to writing in the way you were always meant to express yourself. Then if you’re feeling brave about the thoughts you transcribed, publish those words somewhere, anywhere.
WRITING HAPPILY EVER AFTER
The truth is readers will likely dislike your writing if you try to please them with perfection anyway. You have your current friends because they enjoy who you are and how you communicate, so don’t try and be someone else on the page.
Straight up, you don’t need to find your writing voice or spend years honing it. You just need to start releasing the imperfect one you already possess.
That imperfect writing voice will change over time, but that’s true in everyday life as well. My mouthpiece today is nothing like the high-pitched voice I had twenty years ago, and that’s a blessed thing.
Now go bark like the beast you’re meant to be.
I love this, David. Many new writers find it difficult to grasp what voice even is, never mind how to find it. I know I sure did. Like you, it was only after I stopped trying so hard that I found mine, and I believe that’s true for most of us. You’ve got such a nice way of teaching. I think many will benefit from this advice.
Your wife sounds like a smart woman. 🙂 Be sure to scratch that adorable puppy’s belly for me!
Hey Sue.
First, I scratched the belly. Check.
Second, I wish I didn’t have to learn this writing voice deal on my own. If only the future Dave could be better at communicating with the present Dave.
Third, I’m realizing I refer to myself in the third person a lot. I must now go over-think this for a while…
P.S. My wife is definitely a smart woman. She rocks all around.
Thank you for your candid voice. I struggle with the vulnerable feeling I get when I write. Do I dare to let others read my thoughts that have been expressed on paper? You give me courage to keep journaling…something I have done privately for years. In terms of personal growth It has served me well over time. I will find the courage to release the beast!
Hey Pamella. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. 😉
I totally get it all around. Stay strong, remain courageous and release the beast (love that by the way!).
This is it, the secret to my inner writer’s fear. I can’t jump for joy high enough in real life, but imagine I’m on a trampoline in this virtual space, yelling “David, this ROCKS!”
I never could put it into words, or find a fitting description before – but this source of fear-induced writer’s block has always dogged my heels (when the writing really counted).
There is an ‘inner critic’ that steps in to silence the muse – any writer looking for a way to quell the voice of the inner critic will recognize that commonly spoken truth… but it doesn’t matter if you know and understand THAT MUCH… because when you are facing the page and your hand doesn’t work… well, what can you do?
THIS, David, this is the key to unlocking the freedom to write. In a way, it nullifies the fear of failure, the fear of being exposed, or of exposing parts of the true self… because why write if it’s fake and you’re simply aiming at impressing a reader? What reward is there in not expressing yourself but something created to please others as if you aren’t good enough?
All the pieces come together here in what you said:
“I also think you’ll find more satisfaction in your writing. If anything, you’ll attract more people who are genuinely interested in who you are and what you have to say.”
So if you can open yourself up to the reality that NOT everyone will like you (or your writing)- then you are truly free to write, and the real fans of your writing will be like your real friends in life. What greater reward is there to reap than that genuine return? It would actually validate your voice! And maybe your writing (like your fashion sense or your personal style) won’t appeal to the greater population, but so what? It will appeal to those who are able to see past the outside, who don’t judge based on the ‘cover of the book’, but who respect and admire realism, or a unique view – who present views outside the box…
Or people who can really relate to your story (if not you), because it has the voice that strikes an inner cord. (No small feat).
Well I guess I could write an essay… lol.
Thanks for speaking it, David.
Illoura! Thanks so much for sharing your take! Your comment included so many wonderfully voiced insights. Thank you so much for sharing, love it!
thanks David. Sadly my ‘voice’ ALSO often writes overly lengthy…lol. The delete key is my best friend!
When I woke up today and checked my emails, there it was: another rejection letter. Mind you, I had already cut this agent from my list…I hadn’t heard from her since October, so I figured it was a scratch. “At least I got an answer,” I encouragingly said to myself. I try really hard not to let these rejections bother me. But they hurt anyway…deep down. I berate myself for not being good enough, my query not exciting enough, my story not interesting enough. But your blog reminded me…keep going, and be true to my work-my voice. This agent either didn’t recognize it or bond with it. But it doesn’t mean that I am not a worthy writer. My writing just wasn’t right for her. I am looking for someone who believes in MY VOICE. And until then, I am sure many more rejections will be coming my way. Great blog!
Yo Elizabeth. Straight up, I believe in your voice. Even when it’s REALLY loud. 😉
Thanks for staying strong. You know what it takes and that’s exactly why you’ll publish an awesome novel and grow a strong audience of readers.
Peace my friend.
That is straight up, David! So many literary works were rejected over and over again – even most recently, J.K. Rowling, the author of all those Harry Potter books!
I CONGRATULATE YOU, Elizabeth, for not only finishing a work, but going on to submit it! That is HUGE in itself! (Wow could I get into a long-winded diatribe on just that, lol).
I have to say that I kind of vote for the underdog writers out there, the ones who are dismissed and rejected. There is something about their stories that I want to read, when I know it comes from one of those writers! Those that never quit seeking the right person for it. Those are the writers who believe so much in it, put so much into it, not to quit. That story is bound to be worthy!
Elizabeth, I had so many rejection letters I could’ve wallpapered a small room. Keep going. Believe in yourself and in your dream. Persistence really does pay off.
You’re not successful until you’ve been rejected. At least, that’s what I think. If you’re never rejected, how will you grow? I realized early on, there would be people who didn’t like what I wrote. It’d be hard not to when you get comments from judges like, “it’s kind of hard to find anything I like about this.”
But then there were comments on the same story like: you have such a strong voice! (whatever that is. lol)
or Your characters are great. I feel for them.
So do what David says…Keep writing, keep honing your craft, and don’t let a rejection get you down. Wallow in your self-pity for a couple of days. Then put on your big boy or big girl britches and get back to writing.
Well said Patricia! Looks like you’re dialed into your writing and “voice.” 😉
I often demand perfection from others (I am a content strategist who manages about 20 freelance writers) but I can be a sloppy writer myself. Really, there is no such thing as ‘perfection’ when writing – only knowing the rules so you can be confident in breaking them.
Loved the post, shall be back.
Hey Alyce. I totally agree. Especially being a supporter of story structure. I’m all about trying to know the rules so I can break or manipulate them.
And thanks so much for dropping your take here. I look forward to your return. 😉
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU ! I will take my phone with me when i walk my black dog and capture my randomness. Let the world hear it! I shal re embrace my writing , warts and all.
Hey Amanda. I’ve got a cream dog and he’s often at my side when I spew random words into my phone. Go for it!
And thanks so much for being thankful! 🙂
A very nice article. I’ve recently gone through a transformation in my writing like this. I started out writing something that was authentic and very close to me personally and painful and ran away from it to write genre fiction, which I found fun but unsatisfying to me. I’ve recently gone back to what I feel is my more authentic writing voice. It’s very frightening because I am putting myself out there in a way I’m not used to but I feel like reaching those dark and dangerous areas is the only way I’m going to connect to readers and give something to them that is worthwhile for them and for me.
Hey Tam. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I think you’re spot on, too. The frightening path to put yourself out there will likely be the best route to better connect with readers. They want to see the straight up you. Thanks again for sharing!
I often think of myself as a recovering perfectionist–not just in my writing, but in all aspects of life. This is a brilliant piece of advice, David. I’m bookmarking this post and will come back to it anytime I feel like I’m losing my voice and writing inside the box. Thanks!
Ah, you are way too nice! I’m glad it connected and it helped ya! Your words made my day, too! I love using exclamation points!
I don’t recommend this as a process, but 13 years ago I literally walked out of my old life in the middle of the night with nothing but a suitcase and the woman I loved.
For a while there was no one in the world whose opinion mattered to me but hers. And she’d made it clear (walking out of her own life in the middle of the night) that she loved me exactly as I was, even with all those horrible flaws.
That’s when I started writing.
And what came out was the first thing I got exactly right in my writing: my voice.
Don’t walk out of your life. It’s painful and unnecessarily disruptive.
DO write to that one person who calls your horrible flaws “the real you” and loves you because of, not in spite of, them.
Speaking to someone who loves you unconditionally will bring out your voice right quick. (Okay, in some cases you have to get kicked to the curb for a year, but some of us a quicker studies than others . . . )
Ben Yagoda’s “The Sound on the Page” is a good book about writer’s voice; the only one I’ve read that describes it in any meaningful manner: http://www.amazon.com/Sound-Page-Great-Writers-Writing/dp/0060938226/
Hey Joel. Wow, thanks for sharing your voice in this great piece here. I’ll have to check it out. Thanks again for dropping your unique take my brotha.
Your article does indeed resonate with me. I am also a photographer and for an embarrassingly long time i submitted photos to sites like Flickr looking for the “Faves” or to 500px or the other sites wanting “likes” and comments. It was only when I ignored the faves, or the .ack of faves, that my photography improved. I stopped submitting photos that others liked and concentrated on making the kinds of images that I liked and were satisfying to me. I find the same to be true with my writing, but your essay is much more eloquent.
Hello George. Thanks so much for letting me know this piece resonated.
Also, my father was a photographer so your quick story resonated on my end.
Straight up, thanks so much for taking the time to let me know where you’re coming from. Love it!
Hey Dave. Thank you so much. You brought the passion of writing back to me. I have been writing since I was 8 years old and I always been bald about my style and my voice. Then I grew up and (as I thought) I became smarter, learned about trends and started trying to add everything into my works (including kitchen sink). Then I got deppresed and block won me over for months. At the start of this year one of my old characters started yelling on me, pushing me to write him down. Problem is he is not likable. He is loner in his fourties, barely speaks, has messed up childhood with abusive mother and solves paranormal cases. He doesn’t date or sleep with anyone, doesn’t have extreme powers and (oh my) isn’t even a hunk. But I said screw it and started writing his story (that was only way to shut him up in order to sleep) and then it started. Everyone who heard about idea or saw first drafts were saying “It won’t sell, no one wants to read about miserable loner. Add love interest, add sex, add puppies.” so it pushed me down once a gain. I haven’t touched the pen for three months now. But this article gave me hope. So what if others don’t want him? I do! And I will tell his story, because I am only one who can!
Yo Sett. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your story.
In fact, your story inspired me to continue creating as the writer I’m meant to be. You see, I’m constantly tempted to remove my true voice from the page.
Yet your honest and unique story reminded me how important it is we stay true to ourselves.
EVERYDAY.
Thank you for that.
Please keep writing your story and keep me updated all around. 🙂
It’s so hard to be yourself in life and on paper. But when I forget about the audience and just write for me, I usually end up with a really nice piece of fiction. Thanks for this awesome reminder. I’m sharing it with my writing buddies.
Hey Kourtney. Thanks for dropping a comment here. I’m so glad you know what can happen when you write for the right reasons. I’m also glad this piece resonated. 🙂
Thanks again and keep creating!
Just stumbled upon your website thanks to Writer’s Digest’s most recent 101 Best Websites. I love this blog post.
It’s funny. I’ve been working on my memoir for about five years and I think it’s only in the last month or two that I’ve found my voice. Here and there it would come out, but not enough for the reader to truly know me. Then one day as I was trying to find the perfect opening sentence, I thought of how insane I was to help a meth addict during labor even though I didn’t know her, and there was the opening: “I’m nuts. There’s no other way to explain it.”
Since then I’ve been able to write with my dry, self-deprecating sense of humor while still getting the seriousness of the story across. The revisions haven’t been as tedious either because I feel more relaxed and confident in my writing.
Thank you for writing this, I’m going to share with all my writing friends.
Hey Lynn. So glad we got connected, and thanks for dropping a line here.
Yep, it’s funny. Often we just need an intro or key to open up our simple selves. Pretty cool, and funny.
So I love how you’re transcribing pure-genuine-Lynn onto the page. It’s a beautiful thing for sure. 😉
And thanks for the share!
Great advice! Thank you for sharing.