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To whom it should concern:

I am the devil you need but do not want to exist.

Hell, I am lucky if I survive your story – yet my purpose here is not to beg for salvation.

I am writing because you give your protagonist too much credit. 

You fail to respect that I am doing the work that matters.

I committed to my beliefs before your protagonist even knew their story goal. Your protagonist does not stand for anything until I get in their way.

I create the conflict that saves your readers from boredom. 

I am the real hero.

So listen here all you unappreciative storytellers, you will deeply consider the depths of my temperament.

I permit you to position me as the devil, but recognize your protagonist and your story are nothing without me.

Praise my significance.

Admire my presence.

Otherwise, I will do to your story what I intend to do to your “hero.”

Maleficently,

YOUR ANTAGONIST