Mental Particles Vol. 6

Mental Particles Vol. 6

by | Apr 29, 2021


“Once the mind has seen through all fear and all hope, it finds peace within itself, in a state of awareness beyond thought.”


I decided to not play the role for the day.

Instead, I stayed in character and acted like mySelf.

This required a less linear train of thought from 9 to 5.


The reflections from lights are portals into new spaces.


10 years just flew by and I didn’t do it. 

Some may say I failed. 

Yes, I didn’t do it. 

I served the dollar.

Farewell corporate collar.

Time reset now. 



I think most people are beautiful. 

Maybe I have low standards. 

Maybe I see the best in people. 

Maybe most people are beautiful(?).


Everyone says to focus. Even me. 

Except maybe it makes sense to get blurred a bit.

Because maybe there’s clarity in the haze.


I looked into the eyes of my dog and the reflection was me standing over him with the forest and sun behind my shoulders.


I’m addicted to thought.

I see who I want to forget.

I hear what I don’t want to fear.

I feel how I must.

I think too much which sends me to the brink of despair. I dream about this, too. Why can’t I quit you, boo?


Do I bark big in my mind but bite minimal outside?


My family gets excited to meet new people. 

My mind retreats to its safe place. 

They smile outward. 

My mind smiles inward. 


Maybe depression is nothing more than being alone and doing deep resting.


“Oh my goodness!” I say.

Wife swings open the bathroom door and says, “What?!”

“Sorry, I’m just having a trippy déjà vu.”

“Oh,” she says.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be loud like that. I just know I dreamed this when I was sitting here reading this. Even you opening that door, I’ve done this for a while.”

“Oh,” she says, and walks out of the room.


“My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength and inspiration.”

3/13/2001 – Thoughts


The Limit is not in the Spirit within.

It’s in the flesh where I’m blessed.

One chance at glance seems like a poor circumstance.

But I must live life justly just for the sake of us.

Because I am not the only One in the present.

There are many to consider in this world of chaos.

The unorganized clone is one of the only ways for now.

So move with the crowd or get trampled.

Or take a shot with One life to move against the grain.

Make it different so once and for all, peace can reign.

3/13/2020 – Novel Update

Improper Eternity continues to be revised.

The current focus involves creating 8 new scenes to improve and edit Part 1: Status Quo (a.k.a. The Setup) during the first 25% of my plot line.

I went through the entire novel, scene-by-scene, with wifey and she’s digging it. This is a big deal for us because she hasn’t always loved my genre, and she’s never been my feedback partner, so her positive response is encouraging.

Yes, Improper Eternity will be reality.


This blog just turned two years old in March (2017).

Thanks to you kind folks, this blog was recognized last month in Writer’s Digest as #11 out of the Top 101 Websites for Writers.

That’s pretty cool but it doesn’t really mean much.

I write that because what does any award really mean? 

Sorry if I’m coming across as not appreciating it, but I’ve learned it’s just a list.

Yes, many people will find this blog thanks to it. And yes, it’s cool and a year ago I would have thought that it was a dream come true except now it’s just another thing. 

How many things will I need to achieve before I remember I was already enough?


She turned me down at 19.

I balanced on the patio’s fence railing of a second story apartment when I asked her out.

I didn’t think about jumping but her rejection made me feel like I was falling.

I don’t regret asking her out though.

The fire refines.


The Man In the Mirror observes the Joker playing himSelf. Suddenly he sees what he forgot.


I’ve experienced the silly balance inside the game of pay and play.

I love the art but kind of hate the money.

I’m blessed with money, just not through my art.


I’ve seen this new balance before experiencing it. x33


I’d like to grow a full beard.

Yet I’m limited to patches.

Same goes for my head.

And comb overs wouldn’t look good on the dome or face.

So I stick to clean shaven most days.

Except sometimes, I hate that I can’t grow a beard.

I sometimes wonder if men are supposed to shave their beards at all.

It keeps us warm most days.

Same for our heads most days.

My face doesn’t love being shaved either. 

But I still BIC it every other day.


Don’t try and become something else – because everything about you is already perfect.

Yet I still try out being someone else.

I’ll say something I think they want me to say.

It’s rare but I care so I dare to share inner untruths.


What would you say if someone were to ask, “When did you begin?”

One boy could say, “I was born on April 11th.”

A lady may say, “Spirit knows and I am Spirit.”

A man replies, “I am from Elohim.”

The inquirer says, “The question was ‘When?’ and not “Where?’”

The dude replies, “What?”

The first spark asks, “Yes, what is your beginning?”

One girl says, “I am the Gospel of Life.”

Another kid insists, “I’m a real boy.”

The woman reinforces, “Don’t make me Mother you.”

The Truth equips people to “Awaken.”


I was standing in the shower when I realized that I had no idea what I wanted to create.

What’s the last thing you created that you would Self-award as Significant?


How do I want my readers to experience their transformation?

They begin feeling one way….

– Curious about the new world coming

They end up feeling this way

– Hopeful about the new world coming


Will you be One who connects with another?

Will you travel beyond potential?

What is beyond the Son?

Maybe you’ll remember the face of your Father. 


Just try shutting the front door.

Bc listening can open everything to change.


I’m seeing things I don’t know how to believe.

I’m hearing things most say are lies.

I’m feeling with real eyes.


I have often imagined an alien ship arriving outside my living room window.

I see the lights beyond the window as I stand in the living room.


Is it my duty to help people wake up?

Who am I to say I am lucid?

Who am I to say others are asleep?

Who are you to say I am not lucid?

Who are you to say others are awake or asleep?

Wifey and I keep talking about how to help this world. What can we do? What must we do? What role do we play?

If I see someone getting spun by an illusion, is it my responsibility to help them break a spell?


If you could meet One human, who would it be?


I have come to see 

I am One who 

Loves adventure.

I am One who says

I dislike surprises

Except I like

Pushing mySelf

Into the Unknown.

I’m One who’s once 

or thrice thought

I was the villain 

in a past life but

Then I laugh bc

I’ve also been

One Who Acts 

The Good Guy.